On Saturday May 19th 1996 at approximately 1500 hours North West time, a crack, (yes CRACK) team from the Yorkshire S.A.S. stormed the North West Area Embassy near Knutsford, where their Area Conference was in session. This was "Operation Stardust".
Our troops, mainly from the Bradford and Hull Regiments, were blacked up and belaclavered, they were heavily armed with water pistols/rifles, and other toy weaponry, and shouting, they were led by Sergeant J Horsborough charging into the venue, whereupon Corporal N Lloyd was supposed to communicate this to me, - `PERIMETER SECURE SIR!` at the top of his voice, he didn't. That man has been Court Martialled, and is due to start his prison sentence shortly. (Nick has now got a job in the Prison Service).
After I had ascertained that the situation was under control, I marched to the front of the conference, disarming a reckless attacker on the way, (Anthony Podmore). I turned and faced the delegates and barked: `This is Operation ..... ` someone shouted out `Operation Stutter`, and someone else `Carry on, carry on`, luckily Lance Corporal E Jones gave me a prompt, and I carried on.
`This is Operation Stardust,` (I was supposed to say `Shane` here, sort of a joke), `I am Captain John Smith, and we are the Yorkshire S.A.S. We are here to throw down the gauntlet, to challeng the North West Area to the War of the Roses 1996! Are you up to the challenge` needless to say there were shouts of Yes Yes, `We`ll see as we have a challenge for your leader`.
`SHANE FENTON, front and centre!` Wayne came round to the front where he was taken prisoner by Sergeant J Horsborough, and Lance Corporal E Jones. He did`nt correct me regarding his name, (sort of a joke), I shouted: `Are you up to the challenge?` yes we are was the reply `Escort the prisoner outside` some of the delegates then shouted keep him! don`t bring him back! `The rest of you follow me outside, and we`ll see if he is up to the challenge`
Outside the prisoner was on his knees under a tree, and once everyone had gathered round, supposedly brought out by the troops, (some of whom had picked the best position to see the next phase of the operation), `As the theme of this year`s War of the Roses is 100 years of Cinema, the challenge is for your leader to answer three questions on the cinema. If he answers correctly he will go free, if not he will receive his punishment.` Sergeant J Horsborough was holding a bucket above Wayne Fenton`s head.
`Question 1, who played the male lead in the film PULP FICTION?` He did`nt know, even though the answer, John Travolta had been shouted out, he was expected to get question 1 right, now he knew he would get his reward. `Question 2 name one of the Marx brothers?` Groucho was the answer given, this was correct. `Question 3, name a Hollywood film director/` Linda Street was the reply, `No Alfred Hitchcock. EXECUTE THE PUNISHMENT!`
Sergeant J Horsborough tipped up the bucket, and an orange coloured substance that can only be described as GUNGE poured out. there was a round of applause, `North West Area, Follow the example of your leader enter War of the Roses 1996, remember the motto of the S.A.S. HE WHO DARES, WINS, as you return to your Conference, colect your orders from Private Overend, DISMISSED!`
That evening we attended the North West Conference Disco, joined by Rothwell Group members.
The following day was the Yorkshire Area Conference, needless to say a retaliation force attended, and Area Chair Judy Horsborough had brought a change of clothes, expecting a similar fate to that of North West Area Chairman Wayne Fenton. At a certain point in the Conference North West Area`s new Chair Elaine Padley asked if she could interupt, and due to the disruption of the North West Cnference read out five demands:
There were shouts of No! No! from the delegates, then Elaine asked Judy, and the rest to accompany her outside. Once outside the demands were reitterated, with the added condition that as we must keep Wayne Fenton, he and Judy should marry. A bouquet of red and white roses was presented to Judy, then something that can only be described as CONFETTI was sprinkled over Judy's head, to a round of applause
The War of the Roses 1996 hosted by Yorkshire Area 18 Plus, and organised by a Sub-Committee formed by Ellie Jones, Judy Horsborough, Julie Gregory, Nick Lloyd, and myself took place on Saturday September 14th 1996, the theme was 100 years of cinema, and the games were based on films such as King Kong, Babe, and the Indiana Jones series.
A NIGHT OF A THOUSAND STARS! Yes, the War of the Roses 1996 Evening Disco was a Fancy Dress Disco continuing the cinema theme of the War of the Roses Competition.
The Disco took place at Pudsey Civic Hall, Pudsey, Leeds, West Yorkshire. Music was provided by the Close Encounters Roadshow.
Prizes of Cinema Vouchers were awarded to the best Group, (Leeds 18 Plus for their portrayal of the St Trinnians films), and the best individual, which was Tony Swindon of Barnsley 18 Plus as Mrs Doubtfire.
The evening Disco also featured the presentation of the Rose Bowl to the Area that won the War of the Roses, trophies were presented to the Group teams that won each game, and for the highest scoring Team from each Area.
Lets make Yorkshire the winners this year! was the battle cry, but North-West won.
John A Smith
WAR OF THE ROSES AND TALES
Well as the day dawned the trusty few from North West Area made tracks up to Yorkshire. When NW got to the venue, (we might add the NW Area Chairman got lost again !! ), we discovered we were evenly matched this year.
At this point it was noticed that Cheadle had absconded to the nearest pub. The competition consisted of five games. Firrst was an obstacle course, (Indianna Jones), which proved who could run and who couldn't. Dave Preston from Romily had rockets under his shoes !! The next game was a "Screen Test" in which there were 40 pictures of stars, past and present, that you had to identify (Well done Dave Orsler). The National No-Hopers lived up to their name, didn't they Linda? Game three was a three legged race, (King Kong, you had to fill a tube representing the Empire State Building with water to float King Kong to the top) which most teams completed very quickly, and the fourth was a ride a horse type game, (City Slickers), where competitors had to be a cowboy and lasoo their cows after riding round the course (What happened Whtefield?)
The last game was called "Babe" in which contestants became sheep. They were blindfolded and had to be guided by verbal instructions into a pen. The finale was a water fight with sponges and yes! Paul from Hull became a target of the NW. Amazingly enough the Area Chairmen from both Areas remained dry. Sarah from Cheadle was entered into a wet T-shirt competition with a girl from Yorkshire.
As the Groups left a member from Cheadle, (Dave Orsler), thought he had locked his keys in his car so he phoned the AA and waited 45 minutes only to discover they were in his bag.
The Disco that night was fancy dress and most Groups were dressed up. The Yorkshire Groups looked impressive but the winner had to be Tony from Barnsley who came as Mrs Doubtfire. He was so impressive that he even got into the ballroom dancing downstairs. Perhaps we should ask him to dress up for the next National event!
Question to a NW member - how lomg does it take to get from Bradford to NW ? Answer - normally one hour but for some reason it took him three hours because he took a detour to somewhere else, but that's another story.
Page produced by John A Smith