Northern News Index Page

Newsletter of the Northern Area

What a Smashing Holiday!

Yes, WASH 2002 was a fantastic weekend, with great entertainment, superb parties and camaraderie - so, in this bumper WASH edition, we'll look back at those three nights in Norfolk just in case you've forgotten) - there's a review of the bands, and a TWO-PAGE interview with the National Chairman! How good was WASH? Don't take my word for it ...

A Posteard from Hunstanton

As ever WASH was one of those not-to-be equaled holiday breaks you can't get outside of 18+ for even approaching better value for money. There was the short-term singer and the invisible Welshman. The rocketeer whose assistant was likely the most lethal part of his equipment, the guy on his bicycle come round to complain, of his antics (at his age) regarding the reentry of some unspent stages onto the caravans. The bar, the inappropriately named 2nd from last quiz team coining in joint 3rd from last (curse that Fareham Ferret and his bag of Lemons!). Biggles (new and improved) with pretty much nothing else of note other than a plastic tube! SA chairman being framed perfectly getting fiattened by speeding Hillingdon member on video. The rare opportunity to imbibe alcohol, the friends. The L&SEA caravan pet (large. mobile. eight legs) briefly breaking up the committee meeting. Upon departure the duck rugby. What do you need? Two large teams of very nonplaying ducks thrown a bread roll at a time - carriage!

Adrian Barnard
18 Plus National Executive Officer for Northern Area

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Hello again! I hope your Christmas and New Year celebrations went well, and you're ready for some serious Plussing in 2003.

Did you enjoy the Christmas Dance in Wakefield? All those who attended had a great time (once you found it how do you hide a Rugby stadium?). Big thanks to D.J. Rick for a superb set and to the staff for running a well stocked bar. We'll go back there again.

Well done to Rothwell for retaining the Footsore Trophy, and to Leeds for taking the Linda Street Trophy considering the state of Leeds Group at the start of 2002, this is a remarkable achievement and proof of what can be achieved.

Thinking ahead, the ANC is looming on the horizon - I'm going to say it again, but you can't afford NOT to go, as what's going to be discussed will be that important; with that in mind, please come along to the Pre-ANC Training Day in Gatley - this is your main chance to get your delegates ready for March.

And finally, on a personal note, I'm back in the land of the employed - so I'll be able to come to Group Nights again (you have been warned!)

Mark
Northern Area Chairman

At WASH
(Friday 1st - Monday 4th November).

When you tell people you're going away for a weekend break, the first thing you're asked is "Where?" The reply of "a caravan park in Hunstanton, Norfolk" usually brings a blank stare, followed by "In November?" or "You're Mad!" Well, yes, and yes - but it didn't stop over 400 hardy souls making the trek across to Norfolk for three nights of merriment, music and masses of alcohol!

Friday

After arriving, the first thing most Groups do is to find their Caravan, find the Caravans of their friends, then see who the bands are. Once a hastily prepared meal was consumed (or, for the more adventurous, a visit to the Chip Shop), it's on with the glad rags for the first visit to the venue.

First up was Tweekys Wind - as a rule, first bands are usually a bit, well, crap. This group was not - they sounded great, they played a couple of their own songs as well as some very decent covers, and they kept the floor very happy.

Reporter Rating - 7/10

They were followed by The Blues Tubes - again, quite a decent band, with strong bluesy tones (including two saxes). Unfortunately their music didn't quite hit the right notes with the floor - at one point, just six people were dancing (whoops).

Reporter Rating - 6/10

For those who didn't fancy it, the Mariners Bar did a good trade (at £2.50 a pint!) as did the Pool Hall - a chance to have a natter with old friends or make new ones (swapping caravan numbers ... ).

Saturday

The morning was clear but rather cold (if you got up that early) - a chance for a swim (to work off Friday night) or breakfast (ditto) or a walk (if you can't stand breakfast). The afternoon was packed - the Karaoke was, as usual, fun if a bit painful, while the Clay Pigeon shooting proved exceptionally popular - the guy who runs it is fast becoming a WASH legend, with his easy-going humour and extraordinary clothing (to us city folk anyway!). The Quiz proved a, typical Plus affair - a mix of knowledge, guesswork and blatant cheating.

Saturday night was the Beach Party - there were some sights, including Jarrett Smith (as a women) & lain Parkes Oust trunks and a video camera).

The News of the Victory was a brave attempt at something different - audience participation dances. Although the music they played was poor, and the routines seemed very complex, the audience got stuck in (and some even kept up with the man with the big stick!).

Reporter Rating - 7/10

Katrina was the big 'name' at WASH - it was a blatant Personal Appearance and she only did four songs, and she mimed. Never mind the short time on stage, she filled the floor!

Reporter Rating - 6/10

Which led us to Northern Exposure - well known at the ANC, they sounded much better here (helped by the improved acoustics), and kept the floor very happy with their range of 80s and 90s covers and strong stage act - excellent.

Reporter Rating - 8/10

So, with that, it was on to the chippy (alcohol induced), a caravan, a party, a drink, another drink, a bed (maybe your own)...

Sunday

If you were the rarity (you woke up in time), there was a Football Match arranged, plus the Rocket Building event in the morning (great, loud bangs!), followed by the Comedy Afternoon (really funny, even if one comedian didn't show - maybe he was scared). Sunday night is a bit strange - you're thinking about home, so the organisers need to make it special, and almost succeeded.

With Marlo, they hit the spot: winners of a BBC talent show eight years ago, they were the stars of the weekend - brilliant sound, fabulous singer, great act, the floor was heaving.

Reporter Rating - 9/10

And then - Hollywood - oh dear. The female singers fronting the band, they were stylish, they were attractive, but they couldn't sing! A shame, because the music side was actually not bad - still, kept the bar staff happy!

Reporter Rating - 4/10

And that was it - Monday saw the slow journeys back, with people taking home memories, new friendships and mild alcohol poisoning... can't waft for next year!

Stuff and Nonsence

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED? ...

Why does the sun lighten your hair, but darken your skin?

Why can't women put their mascara on without their mouths open?

Why don't you see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

If a doctor is 'practicing', what happens when they get good enough?

When you want to stop Windows 98, why do you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon Juice made with artificial flavours, while Dishwashing Liquid contains real lemon?

Why is the man who invests your money called a broker?

Why is traffic slowest during the rush hour?

Why doesn't cat food come in Mouse Head, String or Fur Ball flavour?

'New and improved' dog food - who tastes it to chek?

Why didn't Noah swat those two Mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why don't they build Aircraft out of the stuff they build the Block Boxes with?

Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?

Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?

And if flying is so safe, why is it called an Airport Terminal?

If you want further proof that we're doomed through stupidity, these are actual instructions on consumer goods:

On a hairdryer: *Do Not Use While Sleeping" (That would explain why my hair looks so bad in the morning)

On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No Purchase Necessary - details inside" (Ah - the shoplifters special)

On a bar of soap: "Directions - use like regular soap" (... And that would be . . how?)

On frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion - Defrost" (Remember - it's only a suggestion)

Printed on the bottom of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: 'Do Not Turn Upside-Down" (Thanks for the warning!)

On M&S Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating" (You mean it's not Bread and Asbestos flavour - damn)

On packaging for an iron: "Do not Iron clothes on body" (But it gets rid of my wrinkles too)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication' (Worksites WOULD be safer if we stop 5-year-olds with working forklifts)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: may cause drowsiness* (I should hope so!)

On Christmas Lights: 'For indoor or outdoor use only" (Oh, I wanted to treat the goldfish)

On a Japanese food processor: 'Not to be used for the other use" (Right. .. suggestions on a postcard please)

On a packet of peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts" (Never would've guessed)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open nuts, Eat nuts" (Well, we are dealing with Americans)

On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fIy" (I blame the parents for this one)

On a Swedish chainsaw: 'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands" (Sweden can't be that boring!)

Bekki Randall. National Chairman

Tell us a bit about yourself

I'm twenty-five, married with cats (my husband is Mark, Northern Area Chairman - 1 don't think he needs any further introduction). Outside of Plus, 1 enjoy reading Oust about anything) and writing (wait and see). 1 also enjoy board games, particularly chess, Monopoly and Strategy American Football. 1 work for Royal London Mutual Insurance Society in Wilmslow, which is a lot more interesting than it sounds. I'm pretty fond of my job, and 1 am currently studying for my second professional qualification in my spare time - not that 1 get much of that!

What is your most treasured possession?

Let me think about that for a second . . . my car. 1 couldn't live without it. 1 love driving, although my secret (until now) ambition is to learn to fly a plane.

How has your 18 Plus career progressed?

My first encounter with 18 Plus was with Northwich Group in February 1997. A friend of mine who was a member invited the entire Group to a surprise party he threw for my twentieth birthday. After that, 1 periodically dropped in on their Group Nights, and finally joined the Group six months later. In November 1997 1 was elected Group Chairman.

Stockport Group was given redevelopment status in May 1998, and 1 was elected as their Chairman. 1 stood down as Northwich Chairman because someone else wanted to do it, and when my membership came up for renewal, 1 joined Stockport. I was elected onto the new Northern Area Committee as the North West Regional Co-ordinator in June 1998, and stood for one term because the position was abolished after that.

Apart from a short break from Plus between August 1999 and May 2000 (work commitments), 1 was Chairman of Stockport until 1 became Northern Area Chairman in September 2000. 1 held this position until 1 was elected as National Chairman at the ANC in April 2002. 1 moved my membership from Stockport Group to Northwich in May 2002, after Stockport became a Quest Group.

What's your best memory of that time?

I have a lot of great memories, but it'll have to be being elected National Chairman. 1 accepted the congratulations from the other Area Chairmen and walked back down to the podium to give a thank you speech. 1 looked across the room, and 1 thought, "Okay, Linda, this one is for you," and then 1 got choked up and could hardly say a word.

Who has influenced your career in 18 Plus?

The person who had the most influence in the early days was Linda Street. Everyone else tends to think of her as "Auntie Linda", but she was much more than that to me. She was a close friend, a surrogate mother and a personal adviser all rolled into one. Her death devastated me, and right up until Stockport Group moved venues earlier this year, 1 would still sit there on a Tuesday night watching the door and waiting for her to walk in.

I would say that these days, the person who has most filled the 'Linda shaped' hole that was left in my life is probably Martin Berry (although maybe not as the surrogate mother). 1 can always rely on Martin when 1 need someone to talk to. Other influences include Mark (obviously), the NEC, the Northern Area Committee, and more people than 1 have room to give credit to. Also, at this point 1 ought to mention Kevin Davies of Stockport Group - his response to me ringing him from the ANC and telling him 1 was standing as National Chairman was two minutes of hysterical laughter. Thank you Kevin, 1 love you too!

Are you enjoying being National Chairman?

It's fantastic. I particularly enjoy the NEC meetings, and I'm looking forward to chairing the ANC in March.

Who's your best friend within 18 Plus?

I'm lucky in this respect; I've got two - Jo Krasij, Whitefield Group Chairman and Northern Area Administrator; and Martin Berry, Midland Area Chairman.

Any embarrassing stories you wish to share?

Not really, because it's pretty hard to embarrass me. I can tell you a funny story, though. Picture this - Grimsby Cleethorpes Group's (now Lincs Quest) annual Sandcastle Competition. They had Yorkshire TV at the one in September 2001, and whilst trying to avoid being interviewed (I left Mark, who was Area Administrator at the time, to face the cameras), I wandered off without really looking where I was going and fell into the massive hole dug by Bradford Group!

If you could change one thing about 18 Plus, what would it be?

This is a bit political and long-winded, so you might wish you'd never asked the question. Also, 1 must point out that this is my personal opinion, not that of the NEC. 1 think it is now time to review the limit on three terms for committee positions. The rule reflects a time when we had more warm bodies to draw on for one thing, and that obviously meant that we had more people who were capable of holding committee positions and making their terms a success.

Whilst I would never discourage people who feel that they have something to offer from standing for anything, I have seen a number of situations where someone vastly unsuitable for a role has been thrust into it because the previous incumbent has done three terms and has to stand down. This is not good for the person who is suddenly out of their depth, and it is not good for the Group or Area that this person is serving. I have seen this combination of events bring Groups to the point of closure, and 1 believe that someone who has done something, and done it well, being forced to stand down is a waste of talent and experience. Yes, they can do something else, but someone who has been an excellent treasurer, for example, will not necessarily be a good Activities Officer.

Any plans for the future?

Is this personal or Plus? I'll go for Plus, 1 think. With the National Restructuring Forum looking at every aspect of the Federation, it's a bit difficult to say where 1 want to be in the future. Assuming the structure doesn't change, 1 would like to do the full three terms as National Chairman (assuming 1 keep getting elected). After that, I'm not sure. Because 1 will only be twenty-eight when 1 have done three terms as National Chairman, 1 will take another committee position somewhere. Chances are that 1 would become Northern Area Chairman again, but it might be nice to try something else, such as Activities. Time will tell.

And finally, how many WASHes have you been to, and which one did you enjoy most?

I've been to five - 1997, 1998, 2000, 2001 & 2002. 2000 was brilliant - the parties were excellent. 2002 was also very good and was the most interesting in terms of being thought provoking. 1 know people don't generally go to WASH to think (usually because they're not in a fit state to think), but I'm weird that way. At WASH you are practically guaranteed to enjoy yourself - just maybe not in the way you expected to.

See - even the National Chairman's human! Thank you very much Bekki; next time, Northern Lights Meets . . . Michael Barrymore's swimming instructor.

A Postcard from Hunstanton

This was my first WASH for a couple of years and 1 was look- ing forward to it.
The accommodation (a cottage) was fantastic, close to the venue and shop.
I spent most of the week-end in a drunken haze (nothing new, there!) but remember most of it.
I can't remember the bands from Friday night - I know I spent most of the night catching up with friends and drinking snakebite (that's probably why I can't remember!).
I went to the karaoke on Saturday (to top up the alcohol) and really enj oyed it. There seems to be more people in Plus that can actually sing compared to a few Years ago. Despite much encouragement, 1 didn't get up and sing which is just as well - I would've cleared the room.
The quiz was good, although my team. didn't do particularly well but the atmosphere and banter was worth it.
I thought Saturday night was a great party night although I was disappointed to see Northern Xposure there because I had alroady seen them at the ANC earlier in the year. Again I spent the evening drinking and chatting with friends. I was concerned to see the National Activities Officer dressed as a woman and enjoying it! I would also have liked the National Development Officer to have worn more clothes! I cannot say any more than has already been said about Katrina. She was on stage for 13 minutes and mimed. I felt sorry for the WASH committee, as their "name" did not live up to expectations.
I didn't make it to the comedy show on Sunday but people that did seemed to enjoy it.
MY favourite band of the weekend was Marlo. It was a refreshing change from the normal cover bands. Aside from the music, I particularly liked the fact that the band were really enjoying themselves and the antics of the crowd (including the girl from Lichfield who was dressed in a silver mini-skirt and boob tube and was dancing provocatively)
Overall, I think WASH was an excellent event. It was great value for money and as usual the atmosphere was fantastic. In this day and age, it's great as a female to have a good time in a safe environment.

Donna Black Honorary General Secretary

Apologies to all those who sent in their own Postcards which weren't printed, you'll be top of the list for 2003, promise! One more thing - I WANT PROGRAMMES! Please can you e-mail me your Group Programmes so they can be included here. Remember, if people know what you're doing, they'll come along (and claim Footsore points).